Added: Hebert Birnbaum - Date: 04.04.2022 13:41 - Views: 25291 - Clicks: 2754
Okay, I know. The Star Wars Prequels. Dead horse, right? Everyone has already talked about how Star Wars was ruined forever and ever and ever, Amen. We know. George Lucas is the worst. He redefined disappointment and destroyed one of the greatest villains in cinematic history. Or whatever.
But we all need an easy day sometimes. Anakin Skywalker sucks. He suuuuuuucks. None of them are any good. Anakin Skywalker though, both as a character and as performed by two cringe-worthy actors, sucks the big one.
All he does for the entire film is talk in a super annoying monotone voice, and somehow, implausibly, save the day at the end. Honestly, it really is. Anyway, fast-forward to the next movie, and child actor Anakin has been sent to bed with no supper, only to be replaced by the equally appalling Hayden Christensen playing the now grown up Skywalker. For as bad as Anakin was in Phantom Menaceyou can at least give poor little Jake Lloyd a smidgen of leeway because he was actor.
Eventually, Padme — the usually reliable Natalie Portman in her worst ever performance — realises that her husband is a complete ballbag, and then just dies of grief!?
Actually, the ending is pretty radical. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Darth Vader was born. Anakin: You are so… beautiful. Anakin: No. Padme: Then love has blinded you?
Jerk-off Rating: If his jerkiness were a spaceship it could do the Kessel Run in eleven parsecs. John can generally be found wearing Cookie Monster pyjamas with a PlayStation controller in his hands, operating on a diet that consists largely of gin and pizza. His favourite things are Back to the Future, Persona 4 Golden, the soundtrack to Rocky IV, and imagining scenarios in which he's drinking space cocktails with Commander Shepard. You can follow John on Twitter at www. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Connect with us. Share Tweet.
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6 Reasons Hayden Christensen's Anakin Skywalker Was Not the Worst